She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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