Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize