marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
