I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
