do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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