We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
