Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
