That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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