He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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