Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
