I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
