is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
