my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
