Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize