I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
