my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
