We're facebook friends in real life
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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