I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
