You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
