I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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