Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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