I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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