wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
