I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
