Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
