Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
