i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
In America we eat man semen.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
