well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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