Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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