Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
