Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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