see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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