dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize