This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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