i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
