The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
