She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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