Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
