so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
