frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize