Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
