I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
