this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
