Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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