So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
