I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize