There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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