i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
