my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
