I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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