"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
