I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
