that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there's paper in my vomit.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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