just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
