my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
