Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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