addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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