What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
