How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
