oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
