Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am available for nakedness
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
